lost the touch

Found the touch.

2007-10-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

I won't be posting here anymore. We've created a family blog to replace individual blogs, and the stress of keeping them both updated is just too much.

So... you can find us here.

Goodbye, cruel world!

Ostracized

2007-10-03T14:37:00.000-07:00

os·tra·cize [os-truh-sahyz] -cized, -ciz·ing. To exclude, by general consent, from society, friendship, conversation, privileges, etc. ex. Her friends ostracized her when they all joined Weight Watchers.

I wasn't a very popular kid growing up. I read a lot, and so all the good looking, popular kids were intimidated by me. So basically, I know what it feels like to be on the outside of a crowd. It's been since about late middle school or jr. high that I was last ostracized. And now that all-too-familiar feeling is back.

All the girls at work are joining weight watchers and now I'm getting those familiar jeers again. Back then it was "Quit ducking and covering your head when the volleyball comes at you!" and "Why don't you put down that book and go play outside like a normal child?" Now it's "Don't you wish you needed to lose 20 lb. so you could be part of the "in" crowd?" or "Hey Mini, why don't you put on a few pounds so you can be cool like the rest of us."

I guess it could always be worse...

Haircut

2007-09-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

I am getting this haircut tonight. I don't think I'll post a picture of the actual cut, so everyone can assume my hair looks exactly like this until they see me next.

A question for The Captain.

2007-09-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

A few of your fans here at work were asking what "How to store cheese" referred to. I explained the sketch from The State to them and tried to explain how funny it was. They just stared at me. I was going to show them the clip that you posted when you first started your blog, but it is no longer available. All my googling efforts were in vain. So I'm wondering... do you know where I can find that clip? I would hate to leave your public waiting.

By the way, you're looking quite skinny in this picture. Eat something!

Picture taking is not my strongest skill.

2007-09-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

We finally got around to printing some pictures for a baby journal I keep for Addie and this was one of them. When I saw it I complained that Snapfish had cut Col's head off. I said so to Col and he said "I think you actually cut my head off when you took that picture." I didn't think that was possible so I looked up the picture on my computer. Sure enough, chopped his head right off.

I hereby officially apologize to Col for cutting his head off, and to Snapfish for blaming them.

Ready for the weekend

2007-09-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Our receptionist is out of town so I am covering for her. It's such a joy experiencing all the things I was so glad to leave behind when I moved to accounting. For example, several times today I've gotten the oh-so-familiar phone call where the person says "Somebody called me from there. Who is this?" I'll share the most recent one:

"Somebody called me from there. Who was it?"

"I'm sorry, but the call could've come from anyone who works here and unless they leave a voicemail, I don't have a way of finding out who it was."

"How did you get my number?"

"I wasn't the one who called. I don't know how they got your number."

"Yes, but somebody just called me from there."

"This phone number shows up when anyone who works here makes a call from their line. I don't know who it was."

"How do you get the phone numbers you call?"

"We're not a solicitor. We're a land development company."

"Take me off your list."

"I don't have a list."

"However you got my number, take my number off."

"I don't know how they got your number, but we're not a solicitor. Hopefully they'll call you back."

"No, you better NOT call me back! Take my number off your list!"

"I don't have a list."

He was being pretty rude by this point, so I admit I kept it up until he hung up on me. I got a good chuckle out of it.

Mormons Exposed

2007-09-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Julie here at work brought this to my attention. About halfway down the page you see the blurb entitled "Hot Mormon Missionaries" which details this website promoting a certain calendar as well as T-shirts, all promoting... elders I guess. I was taken aback at first, because it looked like they're all guys currently on missions. Evidently they're returned missionaries at least. Still... yikes.

Jenn's favorite is Mr. January.

Hail the conquering hero...

2007-09-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

This bunny trophy was made by Jenn to be given to Thursday's Killer Bunnies winner. It now sits proudly atop my desk. Three cheers for bragging rights.

I will be using Jenn's bunny origami kit to make another bunny trophy that will go to next Thursday's winner.

Hurricane Henrietta

2007-09-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

A lady I work with went to Cabo last weekend with her family. She wasn't back Tuesday. We got a call later in the day from her. They're stuck there - airport's closed, roads are blocked. They can't really leave their hotel due to torrential rains and winds outside. The eye of the hurricane was supposed to hit them last night. We haven't heard from her yet today...

Bangs

2007-09-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

The other night Col had a nightmare that his mom cut Addie's hair and the bangs ended up way too short. Later that day, Brooke and Courtney watched Addie for us so we could go to the movies and when Courtney brought her to us she said "We cut her hair!" Col panicked. His fears subsided when he saw her. They did a really good job - she looks cute with her new haircut.
The main reason I'm posting this picture is to show you that Col chose to post a pic where she had angry face. There were plenty of ones where she's happy about her new 'do.

Mr. Fix It

2007-08-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling grateful for my husband this morning. Yesterday he was able to get our Volvo through emissions even though the drive cycle hadn't reset. This is why you are nice to the guys at emissions testing. Saved us the $300+ it would've cost us to have the drive cycle reset at the dealership.

Then this story: A lady at work had told me yesterday that her air conditioning had stopped working. Her husband took a day off work to meet the A/C repair guy who showed up and said his company didn't work on that type of unit. She was on the phone most the day trying to find a company that would come out to repair it. Most said they couldn't work on that brand, others couldn't come out for a few days. She finally found someone who came out and told her it was a bad fuse. Today at work she told us how glad she was they didn't have to replace the unit, and it had only cost her $200.

Some of you may know that a few weeks ago this happened to us. Except instead of calling a repairman, Col jumped up onto the roof, went to Lowe's and bought a fuse and some kind of breaker switch something something, and one hour and $10.00 later our A/C was fixed and working fine.

So, if any of you see Col today, give him a hug for me.

Everything else and such as.

2007-08-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

My Monday morning is going much better now that I saw this.

A bit of lunchtime bunny killing.

2007-08-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

We've been playing Killer Bunnies at work during our lunch break. Today, an alliance was formed by Jenn and Julie who wore matching shirts and bunny ears. It is difficult to compete with that type of bunny conspiracy. No one was surprised when Jenn took us all to the cleaners. I don't mind though because it's so entertaining when she gets money and yells "Kabolla Dolla HOLLA!"
Looking at this picture, you may think we all went to a nearby wooded park to play, but no. This is the wallpaper mural in our break room. Whenever we are in there, we feel like we are in a park. We also feel like it's 1976.

It's always funny when satire is taken literally.

2007-08-20T14:17:00.001-07:00

This gave me a good laugh today. Be sure to read the comments - most of which are written by Lithuanians who didn't quite get the joke. His response to all the comments, which is equally funny, can be found here.

An excuse to move Regina Spektor down the page.

2007-08-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

You can see who is to blame for this here. Better on a blog than in an email forward, I always say.

4 jobs....
1. Newspaper editor
2. Accountant for land development company
3. Paralegal/Office Administrator for law firm
4. Throwing rocks off a combine tractor (spud harvest)

4 movies I can watch over and over...
1. Bottle Rocket
2. Amelie
3. Rushmore
4. Waiting for Guffman

4 Places I have lived....
1. Lewisville, Idaho
2. Scottsdale, Arizona
3. Brussels, Belgium
4. Montreal, Canada

4 T.V. shows I enjoy
1. The Office
2. Man vs. Wild
3. Top Chef
4. Project Runway

4 places I have vacationed
1. France
2. Italy
3. Greece
4. NYC

4 of my favorite foods
1. Aloo Gobi
2. Lamb curry
3. Gyros
4. Chocolate Flan cake

4 websites I visit often
1. Google
2. Gmail
3. Family Blogs
4. killerbunnies.com

4 places I would rather be right now
1. On a sailboat
2. At the beach
3. On a plane
4. Wherever Col and Addie are

Tatum, Col and David.... consider yourselves tagged.

Maybe I'm just feeling cranky...

2007-08-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

I heard this song yesterday and I really liked it. Then today I watched the music video, and I found her really annoying. I still like the song, but I prefer listening to it without watching her sing it.

World Clock.

2007-08-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

Interesting.

I am 92,000,384,307 milliseconds old.

2007-08-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

I was forwarded an excel spreadsheet with formulas so that when you plug in your birthday it tells you how old you are in every time fraction imaginable, before sending your birthday and SSN to the highest bidding identity thief. It was worth it though, because it also gave me some insightful information about myself. My favorite is the last one - "Those who loves me are enemies".

* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies

The Rocker

2007-08-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty excited about this.

Another reason to boycott Polly Pocket.

2007-08-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

I found out about this because a lady at work had this magnet toy that was recalled - evidently if your child swallows the magnets, they will fuse to each other and surgery has been required in order to extract them.

I was amazed by the amount of Polly Pocket toys that have been recalled over the years. You can see a list here.

So if ever any of you are considering buying Addie any Polly Pocket paraphernalia, maybe get her something else instead. Like a Killer Bunnies booster pack. She loves those.

Comments heard at local fine art gallery.

2007-08-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the Thursday night art walk in south Scottsdale, and I covered for my dad at his gallery since he had a meeting he couldn't miss. Most of these things were said by people when they hadn't seen me yet, which made me wonder how much of it he hears all day.

"Look at that! That ruins the WHOLE painting."

"That one wouldn't match our couch very well."

"I hate those colors."

"Look how thick that paint is! I bet it's not dry."

Q: "Which of these do you like best, honey?"
A: "Um.... none."

"Can I touch this painting?"

"I'm tired of art. Let's go to a bar."

Killer Bunnies

2007-08-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have a new favorite game. And it is Killer Bunnies. It took me some time to decipher the instructions, mostly because Troy and Col reading Redbook articles out loud was very distracting. I would suggest you learn how to play from someone who already knows rather than try to understand that instruction booklet. It is the reason this game wasted away in the Hills' closet for over two years. The game's creators were marketing geniuses, as no one will be able to stop at owning just the game. There are scores of booster decks and Troy has already bought a fancy collector's card on ebay which I highly doubt will be the last. The good news is they can combine the Kinder Bunnies Troy got talked into buying with Killer Bunnies.

Col, how's about we get this game for your birthday?

Kiss Cam

2007-07-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

This morning a girl at work came up to me and said "Was I imagining things, or did I see you on the Kiss Cam last night at the Diamondbacks game?"

Yes indeed. Nate and Courtney actually were on the Kiss Cam first and we were just starting to make jokes about them getting picked instead of us, when they put Col and I on. I panicked and threw my arms around his head and kissed him. At least I didn't pull a Courtney, giving a quick kiss and then flailing my arms and screaming "I'M ON TV!!!"

This would look like a picture of a video game screen, if not for the heads in the foreground. The zoom on Col's camera leaves much to be desired.

Courtney and I cowering under a pop fly. I love the patronizing look on Nate's face in the background.

The other reason we can't get her pigtails to stay in.

2007-07-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

Note the look of concentration on her face as she tries to wear her bloomers as a hat. It is the same look she has when she violently pulls her pigtails out. Both are excellent strategies.

We'll put it to a vote.

2007-06-19T18:56:00.001-07:00

We found some new little toys for Addie today. They don't look it, but they're bouncy balls. Col and I cannot agree over whether they are chickens or ducks. So we need you to vote. I'm willing to concede the point if more people agree with Col than with me.

VOTE COUNT:

Ducks: 3

Chickens: 3

*Addie's vote doesn't count because she was coerced.

A scam of the accidental variety.

2007-06-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm switching service from my phone to Col's old phone because he has a shiny new one now. So in order to do this, I have to give them some information on the account, including the last 4 of my dad's SSN. So I call him up and the following is our conversation:

"Hi dad."

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm great. How's your day going?"

"Alright. What about you?"

"Fine. I'm switching service on my phone so I need the last 4 of your social."

"What?"

"I'm switching service from my phone to Col's old phone so I need the last 4 numbers of your SSN."

"Wait. Who is this?"

"Aubrey."

At this point, I look at the phone to see what number I'd dialed. Wrong number. I'd messed up the number by one digit. I panicked and hung up. I'm sure the guy thought I was some scam artist trying to get his social security number.

What's crazy is how he sounded enough like my dad that we chatted a bit... evidently I sound like his daughter as well.

I'm still laughing.

Swimming

2007-06-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

I swear she smiled later on... once she got used to the water.

"Finally!" was never more appropriate.

2007-05-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

Bubbles!

The Pinata

Tres Leches

Blowing out the candle.

That's a whole strawberry she's putting in her mouth.

Opening presents.

New shoes!

Happy First Birthday Adeline!

Happy Birthday, Addie!

2007-05-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

Addie turned one year old on Monday, April 30. I got her up that morning around 7 a.m. and told her "At this exact time one year ago, you caused me a whole lotta pain." She just laughed and threw some fruit onto the floor.

She had a really fun birthday. Grandma Brooke took her to lunch and then Grandpa and Grandma Sievers had a little birthday dinner and party for her at their home. We don't have any pictures because my mom was the only one with a camera and she, of course, still uses film.

But tomorrow... tomorrow is La Fiesta! And then... then we will have scores and scores of pictures of Addie covered in tres leches.

Who needs a puppy?

2007-04-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

Addie likes to have something in each hand while she crawls around the house. Lately, she likes to have something in her mouth as well as in her hands.

Not only did she look like a little puppy carrying around a bone, if we threw the sock across the room she would fetch it, put it in her mouth and crawl back to us.

A Logic Puzzle

2007-04-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

A man trapped in a dungeon was contacted by a friend who offered to help him escape and said he would return in 45 minutes. The man had been bound with two ropes of equal length that he estimated would each burn non-uniformly for one hour. How did the man, using the ropes and a candle in his cell, count the passing of 45 minutes?

Walking Product Endorsement

2007-04-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

You, like me, have probably noticed that Rachael Ray's face is on EVERYTHING these days. Wheat Thins boxes aren't even yellow anymore... her face covers the entire box. She's on every box of anything and everything at the grocery store. So, naturally, I found this quite funny.

Last name, please?

2007-04-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

I went to enter someone in our contacts database and noticed that I had not been given her last name. I contacted the person who knows her in order to get her last name, and was told that she does not have one. Now, she's not the only person in the world who doesn't have a last name. However, most those people chose names like "Madonna", "Prince" or "Cher" - names that aren't very common. You might even say their names are original enough that they don't need a last name.

This woman's name was Kathy. Just Kathy. She's gotta be breaking some kind of rule...

Yet another edition of Aubrey googling.

2007-04-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

Aubrey has published two books, with a third in preparation.

Aubrey has not only been recognized by judges and audiences alike, but has been remembered and stood out in a crowd as a star.

Aubrey has learned to play the Irish tin whistle, Appalachian mountain dulcimer, old-time banjo, mandolin, a variety of small percussion instruments as well as Appalachian clogging (step-dancing).

Aubrey has packed her bags and moved to Nashville where she has been chosen to replace Heidi Newfield as Trick Pony's lead singer.

Aubrey has yet to play a full season uninjured in the Indians' minor-league system.

Aubrey has been a successful trial lawyer in a diverse array of federal and state court cases.

Aubrey has served as a project manager for the Afghan National Army program.

Aubrey has handrooted auburn premium angora mohair that was rooted with a 38 gauge needle, which only roots a few hairs at a time.

That last one was pretty choice. But even if it weren't for that gem, stumbling upon this site made it all worth it.

Spring Break

2007-04-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

After arriving in NYC Saturday morning, we successfully found the bus and took the right subway train and arrived at our friend Leslie's apartment without ever getting lost. Taxi, shmaxi. Leslie immediately took us out on the town, and we waited in line almost 2 hours to eat at Grimaldi's. It was worth the wait. This shot of Brooklyn Bridge would be more picturesque if not for that dumb Verizon building.

We walked across Brooklyn Bridge, and then walked all over Chinatown and down Canal St. We then walked all over Little Italy and through SoHo.

The next day we took a ferry out to the Statue of Liberty. Well, out past the Statue of Liberty. We didn't trounce upon her, but we got a nice view.

Col and I explored the city for a few days while Leslie worked on papers and attended classes. We saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway which was fabulous, and then did lots of touristy stuff - wandered around Times Square, went up to the top of the Empire State Building, went to Ground Zero, walked around Central Park, and saw the Metropolitan Museum. We missed Addie a lot but we took advantage of being free nights and went to Mobay, a Jazz club in Harlem, Le Souk, a Moroccan restaurant/night club, and to a concert at The Cutting Room. We went to the Late Show with David Letterman which was really fun and another jazz club with Leslie and my friend Sarah whose friend was singing at it. She was amazing and so was the band (Django Reinhardt/Swing Kids sound).

We also wandered around Prospect Park and Park Slope where I saw Jennifer Connelly in her doorway. I resisted the urge to yell "YOU'RE JENNIFER CONNELLY!!"

We took the Chinatown Fung Wah bus -it's extremely cheap which suited us just fine, and met up with friends in Boston. We were given a tour of Harvard where my friend Chris is getting his PhD in I Speak Every Language You've Ever Heard Of. He also served as our guide on The Freedom Trail. It was really awe-inspiring to see all the historical sights and monuments.We also saw a lot of small doors...... and some VERY small doors. I knocked on all of them, just in case. You never know when a very interesting, very short person will answer.

We went out to Lexington and spent some time in Concord. This is Ye Old Manse where both Hawthorne and Emerson lived at one time or another. This is Ye Old Boat House behind Ye Old Manse. Looking out the window from inside Ye Old Boat House. This bridge in Concord was the sight of the "shot heard round the world" - the first organized battle of the American Revolution. The British troops held this bridge and the American militia charged it on April 19, 1775.
We also went out to Walden Pond, which I will forever more call Walden Lake. The word "pond" must've sounded more literary.

Single girls get all the hook ups.

2007-03-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we met my friend Cydney for dinner and then went to The Gelato Spot in Scottsdale. She was holding Adeline as we walked inside. We all got ice cream and as the guy handed Cydney hers, he looked at Addie and said "It's on me - just because that little girl is so cute."

After we left the shop, Cydney said "That probably happens to you all the time, right?"

No, actually. That has never happened to me.

Giving in.

2007-03-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while Nathan and Jacob were at our house playing with Adeline, Nathan discovered that he could get Addie to laugh uncontrollably by putting a toy elephant in her mouth. This in turn made him laugh really hard and was one of the cutest things I'd seen in awhile. I grabbed our digital camera and tried to get a picture. Red letters flashed "No Memory Left" because Col had forgotten to replace the memory disk. I grabbed it, put it in and tried to take a picture. I was so frustrated waiting for the flash to charge, and took several pictures where they had both moved and all that was left was Jacob hunting for goldfish crackers in the background. This picture isn't half bad, I'll admit, but it's a little fuzzy and it's the only one that came out at all.

I turned to Col and said, "Alright, let's go to Costco and get that camera." Now we're broke but I'm going to be missing a lot less photo ops of my baby girl.

Not a good way to wake up.

2007-03-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

Time: 3 a.m.
Light: Pitch Dark

Col: "Do you hear footsteps?"
Me: "No, I don't hear anything."
Col: "It sounded like a woman in high heels was walking around the house."
Me: "What?!"
Col: "Actually... I think you were just biting really loud in your sleep."
Me: "What?!"

It took me over an hour to fall back to sleep.

A perfect husband.

2007-03-06T10:57:00.001-08:00

I blame the Girl Scouts.

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

Today was a monumentous day for me. A red-letter day. This morning when I weighed myself, I was officially back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I was very excited and may have told a few people about it (you know who you are) and shared my excitement with them.

Then tonight, just for kicks, I weighed myself again. Now, everyone knows you weigh less in the morning, but 5 lb? 5 lb?! So much for being back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It may have something to do with the box and a half of girl scout cookies I ate today. I'll get you Girl Scouts...

6 Reasons to Envy Troy & Tiffany's New Camera

2007-03-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

A belated Valentine's treat.

2007-02-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

This gave me a good laugh.

I do believe the piano scenes are filmed in an LDS cultural hall.

Can't say I blame them...

2007-02-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

I never was any good at math. Sibbie sent me these. And to her I say, "Did you even see the ode? If you're not going to post, I will."

Every car I've ever owned.

2007-02-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

I use the word "owned" loosely here. I'm including any car that was mine to drive pretty much exclusively whether I actually bought it or not.

#1 - a white 1975 Toyota Starlet. It was the first car I ever crashed. The first time I drove it, I plowed it into our camping trailer and dented the bumper. It was a stick shift, if that's any excuse. I learned to drive with it in my early teens and drove it for about a year after I got my license. While I was an exchange student in Europe, my dad accidentally broke the back windshield and instead of repairing it, he sold the car for $100.#2 - a gold 1979 Volkswagen Scirocco. I remember dad giving the guy $600 cash for it. It had no shocks and whenever I hit a pothole, it would jump to the right about 3 feet. It was quite peppy, and I remember giving a friend a run for his money when I raced him in his peach El Camino.

#3 - a chocolate brown 1980's Chevy Suburban. This picture is the closest I could find, but the one I drove was much sweeter. I once lost control of it and drove it over my neighbor's flower garden. I'd like to say it was winter and the roads were slick, but I think it was July.#4 - a red 1980 Datsun F10. It didn't have a key so I couldn't lock it, and it was wired so that you could start it with any straight edge. I kept a screwdriver on hand and if I couldn't find that, I usually used my sunglasses. I remember trying to use my fingernail once or twice but that never worked.

#5 - a white 1989 Chevy Corsica. The speedometer only went to 80 - if you drove any faster, the needle pointed to Park. The odometer read 80,000 miles. It had been broken for 5 years before I bought the car.

#6 - a red 1990 Mazda 323. It actually looked more like this one, without the damage. Until the end, when I totalled it.

#7 - a teal 1996 Geo Metro. Funny story. And a not-so-funny story. I asked my dad to find a car within my budget for me while I was at school in Utah. One day my roommates were joking that he could possibly get something I absolutely hated and asked "What's the worst case scenario?" My answer: "A teal Geo Metro." I should've just been grateful he was doing all the leg work for me, but I couldn't help but notice the bittersweet irony when that's exactly what he found.

Now, the not-so-funny story. This is what the Geo looked like after it stopped rolling:

#8 - a green 1994 Mazda 626. When I sold it, it was primer gray due to all of its paint peeling off.

#9 - a 2003 gray Volkswagen Passat. This one has shocks.The last two, I inherited through marriage.

#10 - a gold 1990 Volvo 240 DL. We dated in this car. Col proposed to me out of its hood.

#11 - a silver 1998 Volvo S-70. Col, it looks like our front passenger side tire is a little low.
*Some years are my best guess since all I could get out of my dad was "Early 70's."

The ostrich is my favorite.

2007-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

The rest of them are here.

Afternoon Snack

2007-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

The most delicious box of Valentine's chocolates I have ever seen.

2007-02-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

Do you remember that Office Valentine's episode where all these flowers keep coming in and none of them are for Pam? That's me today. Which is fine, because I don't care that much about flowers and every time flowers came in for someone I wasn't ever jealous. Then I went to Robyn's for lunch and saw the box of chocolates Cameron gave her for V-Day. Holy deliciousness. None of those nasty fruit-filled ones - only good ones. This picture here? It doesn't even do it justice.

This isn't a hidden message that I want to be given a box of chocolates. It's just a heads up to Robyn and Cameron that I'm going to be visiting a lot this week.

Great moments in solicitor history.

2007-02-13T08:12:00.001-08:00

Please be advised:

If you call me after 3 p.m. and say, "Good morning," I will hang up on you. Especially if you continue with "I'd like to speak to Miss Albert Sanders."

If you call me and say, "May I speak to the person in charge of..." no matter what you say next, I will hang up on you.

If you call me and say, "Hello Mr. Audrey Carter" I will hang up on you.

If you pronounce Graham "Gray Ham", if you say you are with Qwest, if you say you just have a short survey, if there is a long pause before you begin talking, or if you ask who maintenances my copy machine, believe me when I say that I will definitely hang up on you.

Move over, Larry Boy. Make room for Jot.

2007-02-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Though I've never actually seen a Veggie Tales cartoon, I know from talking to Robyn that they teach Bible stories, albeit somewhat obscured (i.e. Rack, Shack & Benny at the Nezzer chocolate factory).

I saw this cartoon on daddytypes. Unfortunately, the competition between the two isn't exactly lively, as Larry Boy is still alive and well while little Jot had his heyday in the 70's. Looks like Larry Boy reigns supreme. For now.

Adding to the hype.

2007-02-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

When I first heard about the upcoming comedy Blades of Glory, I was pretty excited, but a little worried since Will Ferrell can ruin a good comedy if he tries hard enough. Then I saw these pictures on Jenna Fischer's blog. Add GOB, Amy Poehler, and Jenna Fischer to John Heder & Will Ferrell, and how can it not be hilarious?

Time for a haircut

2007-02-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

Goodbye, Anna Nicole.

2007-02-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

She lived weird, she died weird. Quite a legacy she's left behind.

Connecting with her Idaho roots.

2007-02-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

Addie loves potatoes. You can tell by how disappointed she is when a piece falls on the floor.

The Dishonest Bellboy

2007-02-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

Three people check into a hotel. They pay $30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager suddenly remembers that the room rate is $25 and gives $5 to the bellboy to return to the people. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that $5 would be difficult to share among three people so he pockets $2 and gives $1 to each person. Now each person paid $10 and got back $1. So they paid $9 each, totalling $27. The bellboy has $2, totalling $29. Where is the missing $1?

Finger Painting

2007-02-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

This rivals the dot game and hangman for things to do during a high councilman talk.

Squatters

2007-02-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

My first run-in with a squatter was a couple of years ago when Col and I were first married and looking for a house. Cameron, our realtor, was showing us everything in our price range. Our visit to one condo complex in Scottsdale provided quite a unique experience. Cameron unlocked the door of the empty, available condo, and pushed it open. It was completely dark inside, so we were surprised to hear a shout and see a man dressed only in his skivvies jump out of the darkened room at us and slam the door shut.

This morning a coworker from Mesa told us about squatters that have built a ramshackle shelter out of a tarp and some wood on city land near her property. They are using a construction sign as a door. She called it in and a police officer checked it out. When she heard back, she found out that he had arrested one of the men, but the other 2 were allowed to remain. She called again and was told that the city is not able to remove homeless people from city land, as it would be a violation of their rights. Her question is, what about her rights as a taxpayer?

Regardless of who or what is right on this issue, one thing is certain. Squatters scare the crap out of me.

The review I would've written.

2007-02-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

Col and I saw the movie The Fountain last night. It was not what I expected. I really liked it, but it's not the kind of movie you can recommend because there's a chance that people will think "Aubrey liked this?!" before they get fed up and walk out, like the guy sitting behind me in the theater who muttered "This is stupid. I don't get it" until he left about 20 minutes into the film.

I wanted to find out a few opinions about it, and I stumbled across this review, which I think perfectly describes how I felt about the movie. I'm definitely not going to guarantee you'll like it, but I did.

Clothes Hider

2007-01-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

Col is a little particular about Addie's clothes. When we first found out we were going to have a girl, I went shopping on my lunch break and bought some baby girl outfits. Only one passed his stringent standards, and the rest were rejected and returned.

Yesterday, I was going through Addie's clothes and packing away all the 0-6 month clothes in our newly created attic. As I was going through her drawer of clothes she doesn't fit into yet, to my surprise, I found about 15 outfits that had been hidden away in the drawer and never worn. He insists it wasn't intentional, but I know better. The following are some examples of things he would've hidden if given the chance:

Because it's from Walmart, which he has boycotted.

Because it has cats on it.

Because there are cats on it, and because it's ugly.

Because it has Pooh on it.

Because it has ruffles.

Because it has bunnies.

Because it's too boyish.

Saving the world, one octopus at a time.

2007-01-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

We came upon this octopus last summer on the beach in Rocky Point, Mexico. My favorite line is Col yelling "Take it out as far as you can and then chuck it!"

You'll notice that immediately after we saved its life, it inked us.

Bowling without the smelly shoes.

2007-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

A friend at work brought in their Wii today and four of us bowled a game during our lunch break. It was great fun. We played a little tennis as well and I was wishing we had more time to try all the sports. I'm not usually big on video games, but this was really fun. I can see how it would improve your form at these sports. It's no match for actual excercise, though, but it beats sitting around eating Ding Dongs.

The power of Ding Dongs.

2007-01-26T12:09:00.000-08:00

I used to eat a Ding Dong almost every day after school. Sometimes I'd nuke it, and eat it all warm and melty. I don't think I've eaten one since I moved out at age 18. In fact, I didn't even know they still make them.

Then today, out of the blue, a box was brought in along with all the other goodies for the Friday Morning Breakfast. Evidently Ding Dongs count as pastries, because I could not resist their seductive power of deliciousness.

Another very short movie review.

2007-01-26T08:14:00.000-08:00

Hated it.

The smelly ones always linger longest.

2007-01-25T14:41:00.000-08:00

This was a huge problem when I was pregnant. Involuntarily, I would gag right in the face of anyone who smelled strongly. Now it's just a mild annoyance. Whether it be a courier, a mail carrier, delivery persons, or that random person who stops in to ask where they can find a restroom - if they don't smell, they're out in a flash. On the other hand, those that smell strongly of an array of odors including smoke, cologne, various body odors, or cloves (yes, cloves) - these always linger just a little while longer.

When it's really bad, while holding my breath I sign my name more quickly to hasten their exit. Inevitably, this makes my signature less legible and they stand even longer trying to decipher it and type it into their keypad. At least my current last name is a common one. I always had to repeat and then spell out my maiden name. And then listen to a Growing Pains joke.

Funnier than ninjas.

2007-01-25T07:33:00.000-08:00

Ninjas hate George Clooney.

2007-01-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

If you can look past (or fast forward) the intro that I promise you won't want to listen to more than once, these are pretty funny.

There is, of course, more where that came from.

HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!

2007-01-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Blog.

2007-01-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

Today, Jan. 23, marks one year for this little blog o' mine.

Expecting her to fall out of her chair any second.

2007-01-22T09:31:00.001-08:00

Condensation Condescension

2007-01-22T08:35:00.000-08:00

Today in the AZ Republic, the cover story is yesterday's snow here in Phoenix. Their headline is "Snow flurries wow valley," painting an image of thousands of Arizonans staring up at the sky with a look of amazement as a few snowflakes fall to the ground. Having grown up in Idaho, attending school in Utah, and living awhile in Montreal, I'm still used to snowy winters. I'm more amazed by 70 degree sunshine in January than I am by a winter snowfall. However, I've lived here long enough to know that it doesn't snow often, and we have a right to be excited when it does. That doesn't mean that we do not know what snow is, or that we think the temperature has to be freezing in order for snow to fall. The following was included in that "the valley is wowed" article. You may, like I did, wonder who the "Many people" they refer to are.

"Many people wondered how snow could fall through air with 40- and 50-degree temperatures in the Valley, well above freezing. National Weather Service meteorologists said Sunday that moisture particles were being lifted higher in the atmosphere, where it is very cold."Today, what happened was, there was a little bit of clearing in the afternoon, instability, small thunderstorms formed south of Prescott and near Cave Creek and Carefree, moved south and there was a down rush of wind and particles," meteorologist Hector Vásquez said. He explained that all moisture in clouds starts off in snowflake form, but because the moisture was so high up in the atmosphere, it stayed colder for longer and didn't melt immediately, allowing it to remain as snow at non-freezing temperatures. It would be the same as watching an ice cube melt slowly rather than immediately on a warm surface, meteorologist Austin Jamison said."

Thank you for that ice melting metaphor, because without that I don't think I would get it.

I look like I drive a minivan.

2007-01-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last night Col filmed a basketball game at the high school where he's doing his student teaching. Addie and I joined him for the first half of the game until it became too loud and both of our heads were about to explode. I cupped my hands over her ears, but as there was no one to cup their hands over my ears, we made our exit. (The refs threw half the students out of the game by the fourth quarter - it was THAT loud).

It wasn't too cold out, but it was windy, so I gratefully accepted when a security guard offered us a ride on his golf cart. He was very nice and told me about his niece who is Adeline's age. I said I could jump off and walk once we hit the parking lot, but he said it was no trouble to take us to our car.

He headed down the row where we'd parked and after a second, I said "That one there" and pointed to our car. He didn't see where I'd pointed, so he took his best guess and said "The minivan?"

The most fattening salad on the planet.

2007-01-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

Because I came in an hour late, I am skipping my lunch break today. A friend here at work offered to pick me up something to eat while she was out on the town. She asked if I had a suggestion of where she could go and I said "Anywhere healthy." She looked at me a minute and then said, "Are you ok with Taco Bell?" As some of you may know, I am not ok with Taco Bell.

Lacking options, I pulled up their website to check out their salads. You will now receive a glimpse of how un-health conscious I am, when I admit that I had no idea that most restaurants post nutritional information for their entire menu.

While perusing this wealth of statistics, imagine my surprise when I found out that taco bell salads contain more fat than most things on their menu. This is the nutrition summary for Taco Bell's Fiesta Taco Salad. Note the astounding 46 grams of fat and 860 calories. The chicken gordita supreme, which sounds like it should be much worse for you only has 12 fat grams and 290 calories.

So, in conclusion, bring on the gorditas!

My Achilles' Heel

2007-01-16T14:23:00.000-08:00

I, like every person in the world at this time of year, have set a goal to eat healthy. For the most part, it hasn't been too hard. This may, however, be facilitated by the fact that unlike many others, I didn't set the goal on the first of January. I set it yesterday, and so far I have been doing swimmingly.

Then this morning someone brought in pastries. Not just any pastries. Pastries from La Madeleine bakery. Whenever this happens, there are always several left over, and they sit in the break room all day and wait like evil little temptresses. Pastries, in case you didn't know, are female. In the past, especially while I was pregnant and craved pastries 16 hours per day, I deceived myself into thinking pastries aren't that bad for me. It's just bread, right?

Then one day I saw a special on PBS about bakers. It showed the baker making pastry dough from scratch. Imaging my surprise when he put the hugest glob of butter I have ever seen into the bowl. In case you didn't know, pastries are about 80% butter. Kind of ruined it for me.

So this morning, I am proud to say, that for the first time in my life I passed on a pastry. All day long I avoided them and now all the good ones are gone, so I think I'm in the clear. Now all I have to do is keep myself from going home and sucking on a cube of butter. Baby steps.

A little bit of a movie review.

2007-01-15T15:40:00.000-08:00

We watched the movie Everything is Illuminated the other day. I highly recommend it.

A good video for a Monday morning.

2007-01-15T08:46:00.001-08:00

Still trying to figure it out...

2007-01-11T12:35:00.001-08:00

jerome murat
Uploaded by segalier

In case you're wondering if the announcer explains how he does it, he doesn't. Here's the translation of what he says:

“…four legs or two arms, but he has chosen to have two heads. Here is a live demonstration. He is Jerome Murat, The Head With the Mirage" (could also be translated "The Optical Illusion Head".)

Then afterward he says:

“I don’t know exactly how he does it, but he now has his head on his shoulders, and in any case, that way he won’t lose it. It’s truly an absolutely magnificent performance. Jerome Murat!”

Working in Paradise, Living in Scottsdale.

2007-01-10T13:04:00.000-08:00

Here at work, our office is right on the border of Scottsdale and Paradise Valley. It used to be a Scottsdale address, and now it's a Paradise Valley address, though nearly 98% of our mail still lists the city as Scottsdale and it gets to us just fine.

I didn't think it mattered at all until a few weeks ago when our mail started coming really late, at close to 5 p.m. This was throwing everything off, and making it impossible to deposit checks that came in the mail until the next day.

A few days later it was back to normal, and even coming earlier. I asked our mail carrier about it and she gave me the skinny. Apparently the mayor of Paradise Valley knows someone who knows someone who pulled some strings and now PV gets their mail earlier and Scottsdale gets it later. I guess there are a few advantages to living in Paradise.

Maybe I'll start having my personal mail delivered here, since our mail at home now comes at around 10 p.m.

Another reason to dislike cats.

2007-01-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

Early this morning, around 5 a.m., I heard the baby crying. I went to check on her, and she was sound asleep. I went back to bed and heard her crying again. Then I realized the sound was coming from outside the window. Someone had put a baby outside our window!

Once I was awake enough to think clearly, it became apparent that it was a cat. A few minutes later it was two cats. One cat that sounded like a baby, and another cat that sounded like a stray cat.

The obvious thing to do was to wake up Col, which I did for a plethora of reasons. First, it was very important that he hear the cat that sounded exactly like a baby crying. Otherwise, when I told him about it the next morning he wouldn't have believed me, just like when the neighbor's dog bit me and he didn't believe me until I showed him the puncture wound in my leg. Also, it was, of course, his duty to get dressed and go outside in the cold to get rid of the cats.

He came in a few minutes later and we listened to the cats that were still whining, but now from farther away.

Then the baby started crying.

If you feel sorry for the cats, click here.

If you feel sorry for us, click here.

I would totally watch this movie.

2007-01-05T15:38:00.001-08:00

My new lotion.

2007-01-05T12:09:00.000-08:00

I've been using some stuff called De-Solv-It today. It's kind of like Goo Gone, but doesn't smell as bad and doesn't disappear the minute you bought it from Target. (Not because you used it, but because someone stole it out of your shopping cart.) A co-worker who had also been using it mentioned that it was drying out her hands and she wondered what was in it. I looked at my hands, and they looked like they were coated with paint thinner.

Worried that I had subjected my hands to worse treatment than the usual neglect of never lotioning them, I checked to see what this De-Solv-It was made of. And now I will give you the link, because earlier it would've spoiled the surprise, which is that this stuff is made out of aloe vera and lanolin and is "safe, 100% organic, biodegradable and contains no harsh chemicals".

Imagine my surprise when I found out it's better for my skin than the lotion I never use. Thanks, dtep.

Money can't buy me basic math skills.

2007-01-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

Tara Reid counted down from 100 on New Year's Eve... kind of. She misses 29 and then it's all downhill from there.

"20, 9, 8, 5, 14, 13, 12, 11... "

A bone to pick.

2007-01-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

The Pitchfork staff has selected their Top 100 Tracks of 2006. A list like this makes me realize how little I follow the latest bands, as I haven't heard of about 75% of them. I've decided to listen to each track, which they've made very easy by providing the mp3 following their blurb about each song. I've already found quite a few that I like and some that make me think something along the lines of "Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous? Really?"

Their number 1 pick reminded me of a conversation on the way home from a Spire music concert. Those of you who were there will know exactly what I'm talking about. I do like their definition of what it takes to be the King of Pop:

"Timberlake is the new King of Pop, and just like the old King, he’s not scared to sing like a girl..."

I'm not saying it's the worst song ever, but the VERY best of all of 2006? Really?

I need a nap.

2007-01-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

There was a time when I could stay up until 4 a.m. and it was no big deal - mainly because I could sleep until noon the next day. Those days are gone. Adeline was wide awake it's morning at 7 a.m., giving me a total of 3 hours of sleep. I then chose a New Year's Day matinee over a nap.

The Holiday - 1

I brought a pillow and blanket to work today so I can sleep in my car during my lunch break.

Anyone want to go watch The Holiday with me?

2006-12-29T10:43:00.000-08:00

This is the first time in my whole life that I've had to work between Christmas and New Year's Day. I've always either worked for someone who was closed during that week, or I've taken the time off.

I don't like it one bit.

So this weekend we were planning on going out of town. I was very excited at the prospect of feeling like I had an actual vacation. And now for the big letdown.... due to Addie having a bad cold, we're not going anywhere this weekend. So we'll be here if anyone wants to get together. I'd really like to see The Holiday and I know Col won't want to so if you're interested, call me. We'll do lunch.

A year of movie reviews

2006-12-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

I really haven't been to very many movies this year. Rather than anxiously awaiting a movie's opening weekend, we usually end up going to the dollar theater on a whim and watching whatever is playing at 7:30. The following is a brief review of every movie I saw in a theater in 2006, beginning with the most recent.

Ratings Key:
1- Liked it - Would Recommend
2 - Liked it ok - Probably Wouldn't Recommend
3 - Didn't like it - Wouldn't Recommend

The Prestige - 3
The Illusionist - 1
Marie Antoinette - 2
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - 1
Click - 1
The Da Vinci Code - 2
Pride and Prejudice - 1
The Sentinel - 2
The Producers - 2
X-Men: The Last Stand - 2
Mission Impossible: III - 2

Most of these I waited to watch at the dollar movies, so take that for what it's worth. I saw a lot of movies on DVD of course, usually because we wanted to wait to watch them edited on Clearplay.

Because she is my alter-ego.

2006-12-27T14:58:00.000-08:00

Playmobil at its best.

2006-12-27T13:27:00.000-08:00

Breaking the pot luck mold.

2006-12-22T09:44:00.000-08:00

Having grown up in a culture that promulgated pot luck meals, I am no stranger to them. Our official company party is always the first week in January and is a very formal affair. This year, we also had a Christmas gift exchange/pot luck lunch. As far as I was concerned, history dictated that there would be a plethora of jello salads, casseroles and homemade desserts. Such was not the case. Instead, there was an abundance of food from AJ's including pasta salad and cocktail shrimp as well as a honey baked ham and other non-homemade deluctables.

Though I will not sneer at the tried and true pot luck, I highly recommend planning them with people who have more money than time.

A riddle

2006-12-21T14:58:00.000-08:00

What row of numbers comes next?

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221

Just in case the government owes me money...

2006-12-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

I stole the idea from Brian Sack to look up my name and see if I happen to have any unclaimed funds floating out there.

I don't, but about 200 other Aubrey Carters do.

It's all fun and games until somebody poops in the tub.

2006-12-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

Can you count all the things wrong with this picture?

2006-12-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

Besides the obvious racial issue, be sure to not miss the spelling of "Russian". Oh, and just TRY to do that with your left hand.

Swingers

2006-12-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

Supporting the troops

2006-12-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

All of us here at work chipped in and put together several large boxes to send to the troops in Iraq.

Waiting in line at the post office yesterday, we were a little nervous to find out how much postage would be. Little did we know - any packages sent to the troops only require postage to NYC, and then the military takes care of getting it overseas.

It turned out to be a great experience, especially since the lady at the post office was from Québec so we jabbered in Québecois (French... sort of) for awhile.

Hopefully the packages we sent will arrive in time for Christmas, and will bring a little Christmas cheer to those who will be away from their families this holiday season.

Who's Who

2006-12-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

Looks like I'm moving up in the world.

A Christmas music recommendation

2006-12-11T08:29:00.000-08:00

I have been sampling online Christmas music streams and I have a couple to recommend for those of you who, like me, sit at a computer most the day.

This one is out of the Netherlands. You'll need to click on the orange link that says "Open de online RTL FM player". It plays pretty much the same music you'd hear on your average American Christmas station, but the commercials are in Dutch and therefore a lot less annoying.

This one is out of France. It plays the songs you're used to as well as music you probably wouldn't hear on your average American Christmas station - international Christmas carols in a variety of languages. Also, it will keep things interesting by throwing in random selections such as a song I just heard that was on The Muppet Christmas Carol.

And just as a side note, some interesting pictures come up when you search google images for pictures of Christmas carolers. Like this one. And this one. Oh, and this one. I chose the picture that looked like it was made on a Lite Brite.

Now don't get any ideas...

2006-12-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

Last night one of the local news channels featured a special report about a new way to steal gift cards. All you have to do is get the numbers off the card and then call in until it's activiated, at which time you can start spending it online.

I don't know about all of you, but I had never thought of that. Granted, even if I had thought of it I wouldn't have done it, but I hadn't even thought about the possibility of someone spending a gift card with only the number on it. Which made me think that a lot of people watching TV last night had never thought of it either. The difference between me and some of them, is that now they'll try it.

I went and told Col about it, as he was in the other room and had missed the report. He allayed my fears when he said, "People who would do that don't watch the news." He's probably right. They're busy watching CSI.

Overheard at AJ's Fine Foods

2006-12-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

"Hey there Charles, how've you been?"

"Not so good. I was in the hospital all last week."

"Really? Why?"

"I had a gall bladder."

"That's too bad. It seems like you're always having health problems."

Cooking With Baby

2006-12-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

I've submitted a pilot to The Food Network for a new cooking show called "Cooking With Baby".

I'd be like Rachel Ray, except that I wouldn't be able to see what I was doing.

Fortunately

2006-12-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Usually, when I open a fortune cookie, there's not really a fortune inside. Rather, it's full of advice, or ancient Chinese wisdom. Today Col and I went to lunch at Pei Wei. Addie was thoroughly amused by the paper-wrapped chopsticks that she amazingly never tried to put in her mouth. And for once, my fortune cookie actually contained a real live legitimate (though very odd) fortune.

"Hidden in a valley beside an open stream, This will be the type of place where you will find your dream." (Photograph provided)

Of course my first thought was "Which valley?! Which stream?!" I was complaining that it wasn't specific enough when Col opened his, which was thankfully much more detailed.

"Hidden five miles due east you will find a key which unlocks the door buried 6.5 feet below the ground on which you stand. The door will open, revealing 3 more doors. Choose wisely. One door leads to imminent destruction." (Not photographed)

His may not have rhymed, but at least he was given some specifics.

Déjà vu

2006-12-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of babies do the "army crawl". However, I never realized how much it resembles the "one-armed Terminator crawl".