I could go be "pretty, pretty Aubrey" somewhere else.

For those of you who know what this refers to, enough said. For those of you who don't, I'm not willing to admit that I watch the show I heard this on. Of course, I probably didn't have to tell you that if you google "pretty pretty Aubrey" you'll discover my secret.

All that wonderful hair.

I found this picture from several weeks ago on our camera. I took it while we were at the pediatrician's office waiting for them to give Adeline her first shots. Col, I miss your beard. Addie, I miss your double chin.

Like sands in an hourglass, these are the holes of our lives.

This is a 1 1/2 year collection of paper holes, collected from the 3-hole punches throughout our office from a fellow co-worker who we will call Jen, because that is her name. When I first started working here, I was told about this collection but I forgot about it until today.

I was finishing up a 3-hole punch "project" and removed the tray full of holes to empty it in the trash. Jen was up at my desk and shouted "What are you doing?!" It was then that I remembered the collection. I asked her what she's going to do with them and found out she doesn't know. It was recommended to her (not by me) to start playing pranks on her family by loading up their ceiling fans with these holes, or strategically placing them above car visors. She turned down these ideas and said "These holes will be used at my wedding." All I can say is, I better be invited.

Please stop belittling me.

A few minutes ago, a woman walked into our office and asked if she could use our fax machine. She was speaking about 10 times faster than the average person and all I caught was "she's waiting for it right now." I don't know who she is but when I see the fax is only 2 pages, I agree to send it. So then she says "Ok, what's the fax number?" I paused, decided she had actually meant to ask if she could receive a fax here and told her our fax number. She ignored me and asked for a pen. She wrote down a number and said "Ok, thanks. I'll send it right away." It was then that I saw the TINY earpiece and realized she was on the phone with someone. I felt a little sheepish, but I'm sure I'm not the first one who has not noticed her phone - it was maybe 1/10th the size of Carl's Bluetooth earpiece that Col rescued from the sidewalk the other night. Plus, she had a lot of hair.

When I handed her fax back to her, she magically traded it for her business card and proceeded to give me a sales pitch about her aerial photography business. Not the best strategy in the world. We prefer working with aerial photographers who have their own fax machine, thanks.

The proof is in the pudding.

This is how you score a 95 at karaoke.

Camelback VW: It just doesn't get much worse.

It took over a year for them to get us the second key to our Passat. You're thinking that was a typo and I meant a week, or even a month. Nope. A year.

They installed our new fuel pump incorrectly which caused a large gas leak. With gas prices as high as they are, I think it cost us about $2,678.99 in gas before we noticed the leak. Sure, it was only a few hours before we noticed it, but gas is really expensive.

They ordered us a new seat when a spring broke, but conveniently sent it back before notifying us it was in. They then tried to get us to pay them to replace our brakes and do an oil change while we waited for the seat to come in. They assured us the seat would arrive in a couple of days. Just let us work on your car all weekend since it has to be here anyway. (If you've ever had a dealership work on your car before, you know this would cost us another $2,678.99). When we said no thanks they then said "Oh, actually.... the seat is on back order and won't be here for about 2 weeks, so come pick up your car."

To the service department at Camelback VW: You are worse than BabyStyle.

A place with trees

We're going to Payson, Arizona this weekend. It's much cooler there (all meanings of the word apply here) and there are trees and hammocks and fireplaces and a cabin where Addie and I will be hanging out while dad has his adventure.

Are we excited to get out of the Phoenix heat this weekend? You can find the answer to that question here.

Two breast pumps too many.

I don't think there's anyone on the planet who could honestly say "I need to own three breast pumps." Nor can I say this, but that doesn't change the fact that I own three breast pumps.

The first one was bought from Target for about $150. It was all they had and I thought it was all I needed. When the baby was a couple of days old I needed it and it lasted a few days before the motor stopped working. Before you start thinking "She should have bought a Medela. That's the only brand that lasts" you should know that it was a Medela, smarty pants. This particular Medela however, was not a daily use pump which is what I really needed, and since the motor had stopped working I took it back to Target. As my luck would have it, this particular pump had been clearanced out at about $30 which was too big of a loss for my taste so I took it back home with me and called Medela. After about 30 minutes of troubleshooting with the nice customer service rep, she told me it's possible the water we ran through the motor (not what I would've expected them to tell me to do) will get it working in a couple of days, but she'd send me a new motor anyway.

Two days later the new motor arrived, just hours after I'd tried the old pump again and found that it was now working.

I now had two motors for a non-daily use pump which just wasn't going to cut it when I went back to work. Hence, we bought a new daily-use pump for about $250. That makes three, folks.

I've thought about selling the old motor(s) on ebay. Not the individual pieces (shields, bottles etc.), which are sold separately and really should be purchased new, and I've found that you can never have enough of them so I'm keeping them. I'm not convinced I'll ever actually follow through with selling these pumps though because I was dead set on selling my wedding dress because I'll never need it again so why keep it? but over 2 years later it's still in my closet. Ask me in 2 years, and those two motors will still probably be in the closet, right next to the wedding dress.

Casual Friday

These are the jeans I will be wearing to work tomorrow (yes, the only jeans I can fit into are my maternity jeans):



These are the jeans I wish I could wear to work tomorrow, but I just don't fit into them yet:



And no, that is not an actual picture of me in my actual maternity jeans. Those are actually a lot cuter than my actual maternity jeans. Plus, I'm not one to wear heels with jeans. Or ever, actually.

Dadgummit! Blowout!

At precisely 5:00 p.m. this evening I entered the parking garage to find my front driver's side tire flat. I am very thankful it wasn't the back passenger's side because who knows how long it would've been before I noticed it. I have a tendency to think "My goodness, this road sure is bumpy."

If I've never mentioned before how much I love my husband and how grateful I am that he's on his way to change that tire, I'll do so now. Not only would it take me about 10 times as long as it will take Col, but I'm also wearing a skirt and that would really complicate matters.

This is me by my flat. Do I look like I know how to change a tire?

Sweet motivation

Our company doesn't have a "casual Friday", so jeans are pretty much reserved for weekends. While on my maternity leave from work, I wanted to wear jeans while I could. I wanted to wear them every day all day long. Unfortunately, I had just had a baby and none of my jeans fit me. I knew if I bought new jeans I'd probably never lose the pregnancy weight, so instead of buying new clothes I exercised regularly and ate healthy balanced meals. I did lose some weight, but my maternity leave ended and I still couldn't fit into any of my jeans.

Back at work where I can never wear jeans, I pretty much gave up on exercising and I bought some new clothes for work that actually fit me (a "fat wardrobe" if you will). Today, I got an email from my boss that changed everything. The most important line was this:

"Effective this Friday, July 21st – denim will be allowed at Sunbelt on Fridays thru Labor Day. If all goes well – no fashion “faux pas”, we will consider making this a year-round change."

Ladies and gentlemen, that was the motivation I needed.

Can someone demonstrate the "King of the Dance" pose for me please?

I'm going to a yoga class tonight. It should be interesting. When Col was working at the rock climbing gym, I attended a couple of beginning classes but that was a couple of years ago and I don't remember much. I'll be in big trouble if they try to get us do this pose:



I think this one is about the extent of my ability:



By the way "King of the Dance" is Nataraja-asana in Sanskrit. Who'd have guessed?

Speaking of free massages....

The Arizona School of Massage Therapy is running a special - 2 massages for $25. Now that's a deal. It's going on for the next three weekends at the location by REI in Tempe - at Priest & Southern. Maybe I'll see you there since I plan to live there this weekend.

At a stoplight this morning.

I could parallel park in the huge space you left between you and the car in front of you. And I just might.

I wish somebody would do something about how fat I am.

Yesterday I was complaining to a coworker that I can no longer find time to exercise and that I'm losing my drive to lose the pregnancy weight. This morning on my desk I found a trial pass to World Gym. Evidently they have a nursery, so now I have no excuse.

My main motivation is the pair of 7 jeans hanging in my closet that I would REALLY like to be able to wear. Plus the fact that I REALLY don't want to invest in a fat wardrobe. However, the desire to wear jeans again isn't really getting me to the gym lately. I now have 2 gym memberships, a bicycle, weather I could run outside in (as long as the sun's not up yet), a swimming pool big enough to swim mini laps, exercise equipment at my in-law's, a yoga ball and yoga mat, as well as lots of exercise DVDs, but I don't see myself using any of it anytime soon.

Then I discovered this little device. All my problems are solved.

No thank you, I do not want a free spa day.

Many a solicitor comes to our office, and I am the lucky person who gets to deal with them. They are usually peddling office supplies, cell phones, office equipment, or something of that nature. Usually I quickly and politely tell them that we're not interested and send them on their way. Yesterday was the first time I paused to think about it. The gentleman who came in said "We'd like to give your office vouchers for free massages at a Scottsdale spa."

How do you say no to that?

I asked if we'd need to listen to some type of presentation. He said it would only take 5 seconds for him to tell us about their newest promotion. Jen heard me wavering from her hiding spot around the corner and stepped in to save me. I'm sure she was right to assume that this 5 seconds would end up taking a lot longer and that at the end of the presentation, we would probably have to give up our first born child to actually get the vouchers, so I'm glad we sent him away. But I won't tell you it was easy to watch those free massages walk out the door.

Grocery stores should not sell cigarettes.

You are probably assuming I want grocery stores to stop selling cigarettes because smoking is addictive and cigarettes kill. Maybe you think my reasons concern the environment - I'm worried about the pollutants that are released by burning tobacco. I could also be concerned about the effects of second hand smoke on myself and others.

While those things are true, the main reason I want grocery stores to stop selling cigarettes is due to the irritatingly long time I had to wait in line last night while the grocery checker fetched a pack for the guy in front of me.

I adopted a pet llama.

Everyone, meet Ruby, my new pet llama. If you click on more, you can feed her.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Aubrey deserves...

Aubrey deserves all the respect and credibility worthy of someone who doesn't utter a peep.

Aubrey deserves an Oscar for his portrayal of Ralph.

Aubrey deserves our solidarity.

No one would say that Aubrey deserves any blame whatsoever; she does not deserve any moral culpability, and she has not broken any law.

Aubrey deserves credit for at least trying.

Aubrey deserves a metal of honor (not medal, metal)

Aubrey deserves to get flamed.

Aubrey deserves long-term security.

Aubrey deserves that you should think kindly of him.


But my favorite is....

Aubrey deserves to win because half of the money she would get from being a supermodel would go to charity

How you know it's time to move your baby from the bassinett to the crib.

The thing about Volvos.

"The thing about Volvos is they're expensive to fix."

"The thing about Volvos is that most auto shops won't work on them."

These are the 2 statements we've heard the most since our Volvo broke down in Logan, Utah a few days ago. And you know what? They're right.

This is our car. It won't start. Some kind of problem with the ignition sensor. We had it towed to an auto shop in Logan and they said they didn't know enough about Volvos and we'd have to have it towed to the dealership in Salt Lake City. For those of you who've never had to have a vehicle towed 100 miles, it's not cheap.

The dealership told us they wouldn't be able to look at the car until Monday, which is tomorrow. We both had to be at work on Monday and if we had been in Hawaii, or Fiji we probably would've hung out until it was fixed, but we weren't. We were in Utah. Luckily, our friends were driving down to Phoenix and had room to give us a ride. So we left our car in Utah until further notice. My parents may be able to drive it down to us. If not, Col is going to have to fly up to retrieve it. My worry is:

towing bill + new ignition sensor + dealership labor bill = broken bank

We shall see.

West of the Mississippi

Growing up here in Idaho, we always went to the fireworks in Idaho Falls. They were big and impressive... spectacular, if you will. Little did I know it's the biggest show west of the Mississippi. Or at least that's what they say.