Tuesday, November 14, 2006

To the person stealing our Arizona Republic:
Ye be warned.

For some time now, I've had to call to have the paper reissued whenever it isn't here, which lately is a few times each week. It was possible that someone was taking it in ignorance, so I've been working with our carrier and our management office to insure that this isn't the case. They've started putting our suite number on our copy, and sending threatening emails reminding the tenants that certain papers are paid subscriptions so they should keep their grubby hands off.

It's not working. Someone is still snatching it, either under the cover of darkness when the papers are still outside before the building is unlocked, or in broad daylight after they are brought inside. The management company refuses to deliver them to our actual front door, or to install any high security night vision infrared security cameras. (I don't know why - I thought it was a great idea.)

So I may have to take matters into my own hands. Maybe I'll watch this movie tonight.

10 comments:

Capt. Monterey Jack said...

Where do they normally drop them off? I smell a stake out. I have Friday's off.

Judson said...

solution: buy a 3-d imaging machine that projects a hologram of a stack of the newspapers where ever they are normally delivered. the thief will try to snag yours only to find that it is a hologram. then you can retrieve your paper whenever you want because only you know which one is the real newspaper.


i got that off of star wars when princess leia uses r2d2 to send a message for help.

Judson said...

nevermind. i like capt. monterey jack's idea better. watch an episode of dogg the bounty hunter as preparation. bring a video camera, boots with steel tips, and of course,



bear mase.

Aubrey said...

Capt. - be here at 5 a.m. Friday morning. Hide in the bushes at the northwest corner of the parking lot. If the thief has not shown up by the time the building is open, covertly move to the building interior and hide behind the extremely large plant at the southeast entrance.

I expect a full report. Thank you.

Colman said...

I could be convinced to go on a stake-out Friday morning... I love a good breakfast.

No really though, I am there only if we get to use walky-talkies. And I promise I won't break it this time.

Cameron said...

Nathan has some Buzz Lightyear wrist-walkie-talkies you could use. If you catch the guy, you could then act like you are shooting him with a laser (red blinking light) too!

Capt. Monterey Jack said...

It's on!

Carlos said...

You can do better than that! Put some itching powder in the pages and when they take your paper to read it in the bathroom and open the sports section, hoo-hoo! You then line up your neighbors and whosover looks like Itchy and Scratchy rolled up into one, you've got your culprit. Roll the newspaper up, put a lead bar in it and cuff them on the head--they will not likely do it again.

Nick said...

Why don't you just roll a video camera from 5 AM until the time you usually pick up your paper.

Hopefully, they won't find the hidden camera, cuz you'd be out a nice camera, too!

Aubrey said...

So, Col and David I'll meet you by the bushes at the northwest corner tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. And for your trouble... hot waffles!