Found the touch.

I won't be posting here anymore. We've created a family blog to replace individual blogs, and the stress of keeping them both updated is just too much.

So... you can find us here.

Goodbye, cruel world!

Ostracized

os·tra·cize [os-truh-sahyz] -cized, -ciz·ing. To exclude, by general consent, from society, friendship, conversation, privileges, etc. ex. Her friends ostracized her when they all joined Weight Watchers.

I wasn't a very popular kid growing up. I read a lot, and so all the good looking, popular kids were intimidated by me. So basically, I know what it feels like to be on the outside of a crowd. It's been since about late middle school or jr. high that I was last ostracized. And now that all-too-familiar feeling is back.

All the girls at work are joining weight watchers and now I'm getting those familiar jeers again. Back then it was "Quit ducking and covering your head when the volleyball comes at you!" and "Why don't you put down that book and go play outside like a normal child?" Now it's "Don't you wish you needed to lose 20 lb. so you could be part of the "in" crowd?" or "Hey Mini, why don't you put on a few pounds so you can be cool like the rest of us."

I guess it could always be worse...

Haircut

I am getting this haircut tonight. I don't think I'll post a picture of the actual cut, so everyone can assume my hair looks exactly like this until they see me next.

A question for The Captain.

A few of your fans here at work were asking what "How to store cheese" referred to. I explained the sketch from The State to them and tried to explain how funny it was. They just stared at me. I was going to show them the clip that you posted when you first started your blog, but it is no longer available. All my googling efforts were in vain. So I'm wondering... do you know where I can find that clip? I would hate to leave your public waiting.

By the way, you're looking quite skinny in this picture. Eat something!

Picture taking is not my strongest skill.

We finally got around to printing some pictures for a baby journal I keep for Addie and this was one of them. When I saw it I complained that Snapfish had cut Col's head off. I said so to Col and he said "I think you actually cut my head off when you took that picture." I didn't think that was possible so I looked up the picture on my computer. Sure enough, chopped his head right off.

I hereby officially apologize to Col for cutting his head off, and to Snapfish for blaming them.

Ready for the weekend

Our receptionist is out of town so I am covering for her. It's such a joy experiencing all the things I was so glad to leave behind when I moved to accounting. For example, several times today I've gotten the oh-so-familiar phone call where the person says "Somebody called me from there. Who is this?" I'll share the most recent one:

"Somebody called me from there. Who was it?"

"I'm sorry, but the call could've come from anyone who works here and unless they leave a voicemail, I don't have a way of finding out who it was."

"How did you get my number?"

"I wasn't the one who called. I don't know how they got your number."

"Yes, but somebody just called me from there."

"This phone number shows up when anyone who works here makes a call from their line. I don't know who it was."

"How do you get the phone numbers you call?"

"We're not a solicitor. We're a land development company."

"Take me off your list."

"I don't have a list."

"However you got my number, take my number off."

"I don't know how they got your number, but we're not a solicitor. Hopefully they'll call you back."

"No, you better NOT call me back! Take my number off your list!"

"I don't have a list."

He was being pretty rude by this point, so I admit I kept it up until he hung up on me. I got a good chuckle out of it.

Mormons Exposed

Julie here at work brought this to my attention. About halfway down the page you see the blurb entitled "Hot Mormon Missionaries" which details this website promoting a certain calendar as well as T-shirts, all promoting... elders I guess. I was taken aback at first, because it looked like they're all guys currently on missions. Evidently they're returned missionaries at least. Still... yikes.

Jenn's favorite is Mr. January.

Hail the conquering hero...

This bunny trophy was made by Jenn to be given to Thursday's Killer Bunnies winner. It now sits proudly atop my desk. Three cheers for bragging rights.

I will be using Jenn's bunny origami kit to make another bunny trophy that will go to next Thursday's winner.

Hurricane Henrietta

A lady I work with went to Cabo last weekend with her family. She wasn't back Tuesday. We got a call later in the day from her. They're stuck there - airport's closed, roads are blocked. They can't really leave their hotel due to torrential rains and winds outside. The eye of the hurricane was supposed to hit them last night. We haven't heard from her yet today...

Bangs

The other night Col had a nightmare that his mom cut Addie's hair and the bangs ended up way too short. Later that day, Brooke and Courtney watched Addie for us so we could go to the movies and when Courtney brought her to us she said "We cut her hair!" Col panicked. His fears subsided when he saw her. They did a really good job - she looks cute with her new haircut.
The main reason I'm posting this picture is to show you that Col chose to post a pic where she had angry face. There were plenty of ones where she's happy about her new 'do.

Mr. Fix It

I'm feeling grateful for my husband this morning. Yesterday he was able to get our Volvo through emissions even though the drive cycle hadn't reset. This is why you are nice to the guys at emissions testing. Saved us the $300+ it would've cost us to have the drive cycle reset at the dealership.

Then this story: A lady at work had told me yesterday that her air conditioning had stopped working. Her husband took a day off work to meet the A/C repair guy who showed up and said his company didn't work on that type of unit. She was on the phone most the day trying to find a company that would come out to repair it. Most said they couldn't work on that brand, others couldn't come out for a few days. She finally found someone who came out and told her it was a bad fuse. Today at work she told us how glad she was they didn't have to replace the unit, and it had only cost her $200.

Some of you may know that a few weeks ago this happened to us. Except instead of calling a repairman, Col jumped up onto the roof, went to Lowe's and bought a fuse and some kind of breaker switch something something, and one hour and $10.00 later our A/C was fixed and working fine.

So, if any of you see Col today, give him a hug for me.

Everything else and such as.

My Monday morning is going much better now that I saw this.

A bit of lunchtime bunny killing.

We've been playing Killer Bunnies at work during our lunch break. Today, an alliance was formed by Jenn and Julie who wore matching shirts and bunny ears. It is difficult to compete with that type of bunny conspiracy. No one was surprised when Jenn took us all to the cleaners. I don't mind though because it's so entertaining when she gets money and yells "Kabolla Dolla HOLLA!"
Looking at this picture, you may think we all went to a nearby wooded park to play, but no. This is the wallpaper mural in our break room. Whenever we are in there, we feel like we are in a park. We also feel like it's 1976.

It's always funny when satire is taken literally.

This gave me a good laugh today. Be sure to read the comments - most of which are written by Lithuanians who didn't quite get the joke. His response to all the comments, which is equally funny, can be found here.

An excuse to move Regina Spektor down the page.

You can see who is to blame for this here. Better on a blog than in an email forward, I always say.

4 jobs....
1. Newspaper editor
2. Accountant for land development company
3. Paralegal/Office Administrator for law firm
4. Throwing rocks off a combine tractor (spud harvest)

4 movies I can watch over and over...
1. Bottle Rocket
2. Amelie
3. Rushmore
4. Waiting for Guffman

4 Places I have lived....
1. Lewisville, Idaho
2. Scottsdale, Arizona
3. Brussels, Belgium
4. Montreal, Canada

4 T.V. shows I enjoy
1. The Office
2. Man vs. Wild
3. Top Chef
4. Project Runway

4 places I have vacationed
1. France
2. Italy
3. Greece
4. NYC

4 of my favorite foods
1. Aloo Gobi
2. Lamb curry
3. Gyros
4. Chocolate Flan cake

4 websites I visit often
1. Google
2. Gmail
3. Family Blogs
4. killerbunnies.com

4 places I would rather be right now
1. On a sailboat
2. At the beach
3. On a plane
4. Wherever Col and Addie are

Tatum, Col and David.... consider yourselves tagged.

Maybe I'm just feeling cranky...

I heard this song yesterday and I really liked it. Then today I watched the music video, and I found her really annoying. I still like the song, but I prefer listening to it without watching her sing it.

World Clock.

Interesting.

I am 92,000,384,307 milliseconds old.

I was forwarded an excel spreadsheet with formulas so that when you plug in your birthday it tells you how old you are in every time fraction imaginable, before sending your birthday and SSN to the highest bidding identity thief. It was worth it though, because it also gave me some insightful information about myself. My favorite is the last one - "Those who loves me are enemies".

* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies

The Rocker

I'm pretty excited about this.

Another reason to boycott Polly Pocket.

I found out about this because a lady at work had this magnet toy that was recalled - evidently if your child swallows the magnets, they will fuse to each other and surgery has been required in order to extract them.

I was amazed by the amount of Polly Pocket toys that have been recalled over the years. You can see a list here.

So if ever any of you are considering buying Addie any Polly Pocket paraphernalia, maybe get her something else instead. Like a Killer Bunnies booster pack. She loves those.

Comments heard at local fine art gallery.

Tonight was the Thursday night art walk in south Scottsdale, and I covered for my dad at his gallery since he had a meeting he couldn't miss. Most of these things were said by people when they hadn't seen me yet, which made me wonder how much of it he hears all day.


"Look at that! That ruins the WHOLE painting."

"That one wouldn't match our couch very well."

"I hate those colors."

"Look how thick that paint is! I bet it's not dry."

Q: "Which of these do you like best, honey?"
A: "Um.... none."

"Can I touch this painting?"

"I'm tired of art. Let's go to a bar."

Killer Bunnies

I have a new favorite game. And it is Killer Bunnies. It took me some time to decipher the instructions, mostly because Troy and Col reading Redbook articles out loud was very distracting. I would suggest you learn how to play from someone who already knows rather than try to understand that instruction booklet. It is the reason this game wasted away in the Hills' closet for over two years. The game's creators were marketing geniuses, as no one will be able to stop at owning just the game. There are scores of booster decks and Troy has already bought a fancy collector's card on ebay which I highly doubt will be the last. The good news is they can combine the Kinder Bunnies Troy got talked into buying with Killer Bunnies.

Col, how's about we get this game for your birthday?

Kiss Cam

This morning a girl at work came up to me and said "Was I imagining things, or did I see you on the Kiss Cam last night at the Diamondbacks game?"

Yes indeed. Nate and Courtney actually were on the Kiss Cam first and we were just starting to make jokes about them getting picked instead of us, when they put Col and I on. I panicked and threw my arms around his head and kissed him. At least I didn't pull a Courtney, giving a quick kiss and then flailing my arms and screaming "I'M ON TV!!!"

This would look like a picture of a video game screen, if not for the heads in the foreground. The zoom on Col's camera leaves much to be desired.

Courtney and I cowering under a pop fly. I love the patronizing look on Nate's face in the background.

The other reason we can't get her pigtails to stay in.

Note the look of concentration on her face as she tries to wear her bloomers as a hat. It is the same look she has when she violently pulls her pigtails out. Both are excellent strategies.

We'll put it to a vote.

We found some new little toys for Addie today. They don't look it, but they're bouncy balls. Col and I cannot agree over whether they are chickens or ducks. So we need you to vote. I'm willing to concede the point if more people agree with Col than with me.

VOTE COUNT:

Ducks: 3

Chickens: 3

*Addie's vote doesn't count because she was coerced.

A scam of the accidental variety.

I'm switching service from my phone to Col's old phone because he has a shiny new one now. So in order to do this, I have to give them some information on the account, including the last 4 of my dad's SSN. So I call him up and the following is our conversation:

"Hi dad."

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm great. How's your day going?"

"Alright. What about you?"

"Fine. I'm switching service on my phone so I need the last 4 of your social."

"What?"

"I'm switching service from my phone to Col's old phone so I need the last 4 numbers of your SSN."

"Wait. Who is this?"

"Aubrey."

At this point, I look at the phone to see what number I'd dialed. Wrong number. I'd messed up the number by one digit. I panicked and hung up. I'm sure the guy thought I was some scam artist trying to get his social security number.

What's crazy is how he sounded enough like my dad that we chatted a bit... evidently I sound like his daughter as well.

I'm still laughing.

Swimming

I swear she smiled later on... once she got used to the water.

"Finally!" was never more appropriate.

Bubbles!

The Pinata

Tres Leches

Blowing out the candle.

That's a whole strawberry she's putting in her mouth.

Opening presents.

New shoes!

Happy First Birthday Adeline!

Happy Birthday, Addie!

Addie turned one year old on Monday, April 30. I got her up that morning around 7 a.m. and told her "At this exact time one year ago, you caused me a whole lotta pain." She just laughed and threw some fruit onto the floor.

She had a really fun birthday. Grandma Brooke took her to lunch and then Grandpa and Grandma Sievers had a little birthday dinner and party for her at their home. We don't have any pictures because my mom was the only one with a camera and she, of course, still uses film.

But tomorrow... tomorrow is La Fiesta! And then... then we will have scores and scores of pictures of Addie covered in tres leches.

Who needs a puppy?

Addie likes to have something in each hand while she crawls around the house. Lately, she likes to have something in her mouth as well as in her hands.

Not only did she look like a little puppy carrying around a bone, if we threw the sock across the room she would fetch it, put it in her mouth and crawl back to us.

A Logic Puzzle

A man trapped in a dungeon was contacted by a friend who offered to help him escape and said he would return in 45 minutes. The man had been bound with two ropes of equal length that he estimated would each burn non-uniformly for one hour. How did the man, using the ropes and a candle in his cell, count the passing of 45 minutes?

Walking Product Endorsement

You, like me, have probably noticed that Rachael Ray's face is on EVERYTHING these days. Wheat Thins boxes aren't even yellow anymore... her face covers the entire box. She's on every box of anything and everything at the grocery store. So, naturally, I found this quite funny.

Last name, please?

I went to enter someone in our contacts database and noticed that I had not been given her last name. I contacted the person who knows her in order to get her last name, and was told that she does not have one. Now, she's not the only person in the world who doesn't have a last name. However, most those people chose names like "Madonna", "Prince" or "Cher" - names that aren't very common. You might even say their names are original enough that they don't need a last name.

This woman's name was Kathy. Just Kathy. She's gotta be breaking some kind of rule...

Yet another edition of Aubrey googling.

Aubrey has published two books, with a third in preparation.

Aubrey has not only been recognized by judges and audiences alike, but has been remembered and stood out in a crowd as a star.

Aubrey has learned to play the Irish tin whistle, Appalachian mountain dulcimer, old-time banjo, mandolin, a variety of small percussion instruments as well as Appalachian clogging (step-dancing).

Aubrey has packed her bags and moved to Nashville where she has been chosen to replace Heidi Newfield as Trick Pony's lead singer.

Aubrey has yet to play a full season uninjured in the Indians' minor-league system.

Aubrey has been a successful trial lawyer in a diverse array of federal and state court cases.

Aubrey has served as a project manager for the Afghan National Army program.

Aubrey has handrooted auburn premium angora mohair that was rooted with a 38 gauge needle, which only roots a few hairs at a time.


That last one was pretty choice. But even if it weren't for that gem, stumbling upon this site made it all worth it.

Spring Break

After arriving in NYC Saturday morning, we successfully found the bus and took the right subway train and arrived at our friend Leslie's apartment without ever getting lost. Taxi, shmaxi. Leslie immediately took us out on the town, and we waited in line almost 2 hours to eat at Grimaldi's. It was worth the wait. This shot of Brooklyn Bridge would be more picturesque if not for that dumb Verizon building.

We walked across Brooklyn Bridge, and then walked all over Chinatown and down Canal St. We then walked all over Little Italy and through SoHo.

The next day we took a ferry out to the Statue of Liberty. Well, out past the Statue of Liberty. We didn't trounce upon her, but we got a nice view.

Col and I explored the city for a few days while Leslie worked on papers and attended classes. We saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway which was fabulous, and then did lots of touristy stuff - wandered around Times Square, went up to the top of the Empire State Building, went to Ground Zero, walked around Central Park, and saw the Metropolitan Museum. We missed Addie a lot but we took advantage of being free nights and went to Mobay, a Jazz club in Harlem, Le Souk, a Moroccan restaurant/night club, and to a concert at The Cutting Room. We went to the Late Show with David Letterman which was really fun and another jazz club with Leslie and my friend Sarah whose friend was singing at it. She was amazing and so was the band (Django Reinhardt/Swing Kids sound).

We also wandered around Prospect Park and Park Slope where I saw Jennifer Connelly in her doorway. I resisted the urge to yell "YOU'RE JENNIFER CONNELLY!!"

We took the Chinatown Fung Wah bus -it's extremely cheap which suited us just fine, and met up with friends in Boston. We were given a tour of Harvard where my friend Chris is getting his PhD in I Speak Every Language You've Ever Heard Of. He also served as our guide on The Freedom Trail. It was really awe-inspiring to see all the historical sights and monuments.We also saw a lot of small doors...... and some VERY small doors. I knocked on all of them, just in case. You never know when a very interesting, very short person will answer.

We went out to Lexington and spent some time in Concord. This is Ye Old Manse where both Hawthorne and Emerson lived at one time or another. This is Ye Old Boat House behind Ye Old Manse. Looking out the window from inside Ye Old Boat House. This bridge in Concord was the sight of the "shot heard round the world" - the first organized battle of the American Revolution. The British troops held this bridge and the American militia charged it on April 19, 1775.
We also went out to Walden Pond, which I will forever more call Walden Lake. The word "pond" must've sounded more literary.

Single girls get all the hook ups.

Saturday night we met my friend Cydney for dinner and then went to The Gelato Spot in Scottsdale. She was holding Adeline as we walked inside. We all got ice cream and as the guy handed Cydney hers, he looked at Addie and said "It's on me - just because that little girl is so cute."

After we left the shop, Cydney said "That probably happens to you all the time, right?"

No, actually. That has never happened to me.

Giving in.

Yesterday while Nathan and Jacob were at our house playing with Adeline, Nathan discovered that he could get Addie to laugh uncontrollably by putting a toy elephant in her mouth. This in turn made him laugh really hard and was one of the cutest things I'd seen in awhile. I grabbed our digital camera and tried to get a picture. Red letters flashed "No Memory Left" because Col had forgotten to replace the memory disk. I grabbed it, put it in and tried to take a picture. I was so frustrated waiting for the flash to charge, and took several pictures where they had both moved and all that was left was Jacob hunting for goldfish crackers in the background. This picture isn't half bad, I'll admit, but it's a little fuzzy and it's the only one that came out at all.

I turned to Col and said, "Alright, let's go to Costco and get that camera." Now we're broke but I'm going to be missing a lot less photo ops of my baby girl.

Not a good way to wake up.

Time: 3 a.m.
Light: Pitch Dark

Col: "Do you hear footsteps?"
Me: "No, I don't hear anything."
Col: "It sounded like a woman in high heels was walking around the house."
Me: "What?!"
Col: "Actually... I think you were just biting really loud in your sleep."
Me: "What?!"

It took me over an hour to fall back to sleep.

A perfect husband.

I blame the Girl Scouts.

Today was a monumentous day for me. A red-letter day. This morning when I weighed myself, I was officially back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I was very excited and may have told a few people about it (you know who you are) and shared my excitement with them.

Then tonight, just for kicks, I weighed myself again. Now, everyone knows you weigh less in the morning, but 5 lb? 5 lb?! So much for being back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It may have something to do with the box and a half of girl scout cookies I ate today. I'll get you Girl Scouts...